


belle âme

by troubled



Series: hard reset [5]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Age Reversal, Alternate Reality, Older Shim Changmin, Younger Jung Yunho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 09:04:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubled/pseuds/troubled
Summary: there's a lot more candles to burn.pre-debut, yunho steals his way into changmin's life.





	belle âme

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, yunho and changmin. and the ship too, i guess.

 

Sometimes, Changmin catches the way Siwon stares at Yunho when he thinks nobody's looking. It's a puzzling mix of tenderness and fear, as if Siwon is trapped between what his mind resists and what his heart already surrenders to. Changmin knows the feeling (knows it only too well; it's _Yunho_ after all) so he pulls Yunho to him and pretends to not see how Siwon’s face crumple in the aftermath. It doesn’t matter.

Because Changmin also knows Siwon won't do anything.

Yunho laughs, but he doesn't struggle. Heechul gets them more drinks than they can handle, despite Yunho being underage, and Kyuhyun swings an arm around Changmin’s shoulder as they choose girl group songs from the karaoke selection. At the end of the night, Yunho is sprawled over Siwon's lap and Changmin watches Siwon laugh. Siwon laughs a little hysterical, a little panicked when Yunho presses his face into Siwon's stomach and starts humming something obscure, vibration thrumming under his skin. His eyes meet Changmin's with a hushed _what now?_ , as if Changmin possesses an innate manual on How To Deal With A Yunho.

Changmin shrugs. One of Yunho's legs is hooked around the underside of his knee and neither of them is going anywhere.

He knows that with Yunho, everything tends to gravitate towards the inevitable.

 

*

 

“Do you have five hundred?”

Changmin raises an eyebrow at the boy. “What?”

“I'm short." He gestures at a haphazard pile of instant ramen packs and energy drinks, as if Changmin cares. The cashier, a girl with an impressive scowl, purses her lips at them. “I'll pay you back, I promise.”

“Look—”

“Here you go.”

Changmin snorts at the coin on Siwon's outstretched palm, rolls his eyes when the boy grins wide and triumphant like it's a personal victory. Siwon (bless his bleeding heart) just smiles.

“I'll pay you back,” the boy repeats. He tosses the coin to the cashier and misses. Her scowl reaches apocalyptical proportions. He doesn't notice, but Changmin does and it's kind of hilarious. “I'm Yunho.”

“Siwon. This is Changmin.”

“And I'm annoyed," the cashier cuts in, jangling Yunho's plastic bag. She looks half a second away from throwing it at his face. “You're holding up the line.”

Yunho smiles at her and apologises so politely that her anger seems to evaporate into thin air and she ends up just waving him off. He grabs the plastic bag and shimmies his way through the counter, something both awkward and graceful about the way his skinny limbs move that reminds Changmin of electricity. Changmin pays for his beer and Siwon's energy bar, and when Yunho greets them near the exit, Changmin just stares.

“Give me your numbers,” Yunho says, slanted grin firmly in place. Changmin notices that Yunho's teeth are crooked, how he looks too young to wear such dark eyes. “So I can pay you back.”

Before Changmin can protest, Siwon steps forward with his hands outstretched (like the answer to a fucking prayer) and says, “Yeah, of course.”

Even then, Changmin learns belatedly, Siwon can't say no.

 

*

 

A few weeks later, Changmin looks up from his water bottle to see a new trainee entering the studio.

“Hello, I’m Jung Yunho!”

Changmin’s eyes meet Siwon’s from across the room.

Siwon just throws his head back and laughs.

 

*

 

Yunho is a high school kid from Gwangju, who commutes into the city during the weekends and works part-time in a club. Or several. Doing something. Changmin doesn't really know because every time Siwon asks (because Changmin doesn't care, obviously he's not listening when Siwon corners Yunho in the kitchen, all concerned and serious and just honest-to-god so _Siwon_ it makes Changmin want to break something), Yunho grins and grins and says some ridiculous shit like _just stuff, hyung, it's not too bad_.

"Maybe he's a hooker." Siwon gives him a look that pretty much boils down to _that's not funny, Chwang, don’t even go there_. Changmin shrugs. "It's a guess."

"I'm definitely not a hooker," Yunho chimes in from the kitchen table, where he's doing homework. He's bent over a Calculus book, scribbling untidy handwriting into a worn notebook. He glances up and pouts at Changmin. "You're just mean, hyung."

Siwon laughs and tugs on his warmest jacket, because the cold is settling heavily much too early this year around and he’s late for dinner with his family. Changmin should be spending some time with his own family, he hasn’t seen his mother for a few weeks, but he doesn’t like leaving Yunho alone in the apartment. Siwon ruffles Yunho's hair, fingers sliding through soft strands and Changmin watches quietly as Siwon doesn't let go for a second, an eternity too long. "I'll be back tomorrow morning. You guys will be okay?"

“Wait, wait!" Yunho shoves crumpled papers and books into his bag, inkstained fingers fumbling with his own ratty sweater. “I'm coming with you!”

Siwon hesitates by the door. "You should just spend the night here, Yun-ah. Changminnie can accompany you."  
  
Changmin snorts and increases the volume of the television, sinks further into the couch. Over the inane chatters from a game show, he hears Yunho laughs, bright and clear and so, so young.  
  
“Heechul-hyung said I can bunk with him.” Yunho’s eyes flicker to him and his smile dims, infinitesimal. “‘Sides, Changmin-hyung told Boa-noona I’m too loud and I disturb him all the time.”  
  
Siwon throws Changmin an exasperated look, one that clearly marks his disapproval at the shit he said to Boa. Which should’ve been just between him and her, that fucking tattletale. The door closes behind them before Changmin can protest ( _I didn’t mean those things_ , he wants to scream) and he sulks at the television. Changmin wonders if Siwon holds Yunho's hand when they cross through unlit streets, busy intersections flashing reds-and-greens and too many people with plastic, blank eyes.  
  
Changmin stretches out a hand and examines his fingers until it gets too dark to see.

 

*

 

"It's going to be Yunho's birthday soon."

Siwon circles Feb 06 with a red marker several times and writes 'YUNHO'S BIRTHDAY' in capital letters, as if afraid the calendar might decide to skip a day. Changmin rummages through the kitchen cabinets for instant ramen because he's starving and maybe-kind of ignoring Siwon. His own birthday is looming soon after and he doesn’t need to be reminded that they share the same birth month. As if the universe likes making him the punchline of a shitty joke. He glances at the calendar and sees Siwon circling Feb 16 as well, adding a note to inform anyone who might be looking that it’s Changmin’s birthday.    
  
"We should get him something special." There's a lengthy pause and Changmin steals a glance at Siwon. Who smiles at the marker-scribbled square with eyes gentle and unguarded. "Maybe a cake. With candles."

 

*

 

"Do you think we’ll get to debut this year?"

"I hope?" Yunho swallows the mouthful of rice and adds, "How long have you been a trainee, hyung?"

"Almost four years now," Siwon says, nudging a glass of water towards Yunho. "Did Changmin tell you what he did for his audition?"

Sometimes, Changmin thinks about stabbing Siwon with his chopsticks, but that might lead to permanent disfigurement and he’d rather not explain to the Choi matriarch why Siwon is missing an eye. So he settles on shoving more rice into his mouth and makes a muffled, disapproving noise that Siwon, of course, ignores.

“He just stood there and started doing the army claps when they told him to dance!” Siwon laughingly says, thumping Changmin’s shoulder. He nearly spits out his half-chewed piece of chicken. “We all thought he’d be going home, but this lucky guy turned out to be their first pick.”

"Changmin-hyung must be really good that they let him in without him trying too hard." Yunho isn’t really smiling when he said that. “I almost got cut early.”  
  
Siwon frowns, mirth forgotten. "What? You’re kidding, right?"

Yunho rubs the back of his neck and the self-deprecating tilt of his lips stirs something ugly in Changmin’s stomach. "I had an operation for my— my nodes before I auditioned, so I can’t sing as well as, y’know, others. But I really, really wanted to nail the audition, so I did it several times until they finally said ‘yes’. And then I met you and Changmin-hyung and—" He trails into silence, punctuated by a burst of nervous giggles when he realises that Changmin and Siwon are staring. "I’m just glad I’m here, with you."

"Yeah,” Changmin says after half a minute. He stifles the irrational urge to reach out for Yunho. And shake him or pull him into a hug or just. Maybe cry for him. "Since the other option was to leave you on the streets."

"I like it here." He blinks earnestly at Changmin, and then Siwon. Something like insecurity creeps into the dark of his eyes. "You don't mind, right? Even if you debut first?"

Siwon's expression falters and because he doesn't have the self-restraint Changmin does (that selfless, perfect Siwon), he reaches out for Yunho in a heartbeat.

Changmin looks away.

 

*

 

The thing is. It's too easy to fall in love (in like, in affection, in so many words and not-words) with Yunho. He's a well-read verse from a love song, simultaneously bright and beautiful. Changmin thinks it's unfair for Yunho to walk into his life one day and decide that it's okay to stay. To come over for weekend's breakfasts, everyday's dinners and hums silly, little songs as he dries plates Changmin has washed. To perform impromptu dances in front of the TV, grinning supernova-bright when Siwon applauds and Changmin complains. To fall asleep in Siwon's bed, exhausted after midnight conversations on the balcony, with their toes almost touching and shoulders wrapped in Changmin's old blanket.

In a universe that is ( _was_ ) as ordered as Changmin can make it, Yunho squeezes himself into every nook and cranny.

Changmin is perplexed. And annoyed.

Mostly Changmin wakes up to Yunho's slow smiles and tries to hold on to whatever piece of heart he has left.

 

*

 

Changmin tucks away his book when he sees Yunho walk through the school gates, face half-swallowed by scarf. It's only when Yunho gets closer that Changmin notices why and he immediately stiffens, anger flaring out of nowhere.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Yunho shrugs, his movement stilted and awkward. The bruise at the corner of his mouth is a stark purple smear against pale skin and it darkens when Yunho grins. "It's nothing."

"Bullshit."

"It's _nothing_ , hyung." Yunho runs a hand through his windblown hair and Changmin wants to wipe that grin off his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Siwon’s not around so I thought we can get takeouts or something." He narrows his eyes at the bruised knuckles, the cut above Yunho's left eyebrow. "You look like shit."

"I'm okay."

"No, you're fucking not." Changmin curls his fingers around Yunho's arm towards the general direction of their apartment. "C'mon."

"Um. I thought we're getting food?"

"We need to clean you up first."

“But I'm—”

“Shut up. You look like the poster boy for domestic violence right now.”

“Hyung. Wait.” Yunho stops for a second, shakes Changmin off and intertwines their fingers instead. His fingers are cold and Changmin's heart stutters, skips a few bars above normal. “There. That's better.”

Yunho doesn't say anything when Changmin pulls him closer, holds on tighter.

 

*

 

“Did you win?”

Yunho stops digging around his bowl of jajangmyeon for a second. “What?”

“The fight.” Changmin steals one of Yunho's pickled radish slices with practised ease. “Did you win?”

“Oh.” He giggles softly and pokes his greasy chopsticks at Changmin. They leave streaks of dark sauce on Changmin’s new jeans, but he doesn’t quite mind. Not anymore. “Of course.”

Changmin harrumphs. He stuffs an egg roll into Yunho’s mouth. “Good.”

 

*

 

They get a pizza on Yunho's birthday. It's odd and unconventional, but Yunho laughs when Siwon apologises, says something about the bakery downtown closing unexpectedly early and it's too late to try and get a proper cake from somewhere in the city. _I'm sorry we'll get a cake tomorrow okay_ , Siwon says. Yunho laughs and wraps his arms around Siwon in a tight embrace, face tucked into the crook of Siwon's neck and he might be crying. Changmin can't see Yunho's face, but Siwon looks torn between confused and horrified, mouthing some kind of comforting nothings meant to soothe. When Yunho pulls away from Siwon, his eyes are red, but his smile is wide and brilliant.

“Thank you, hyung.” He doesn't seem to notice Siwon's hands on his waist. Changmin does. “You're awesome.”

Siwon exhales, relief evident in his easy grin. He pulls Yunho into another hug. “Happy birthday, maknae.”

Yunho murmurs something too quiet for Changmin's ears, something that makes Siwon's grin softens. Yunho pulls away, turns to Changmin armed with that same smile. “Hey, Changmin-hyung.”

Changmin stiffens when Yunho tugs him into an embrace; it’s a few seconds before he reciprocates. Yunho is all brittle bones and warm skin and Changmin finds it absurd how easy it is for them to fit so, so perfectly. His hand curves around the back of Yunho’s neck as he whispers, “Happy birthday, Yunho.”

Changmin grabs a few beers from the refrigerator and they sit around the kitchen counter. They find a few birthday candles at the back of a drawer, leftover from a party years ago and Siwon brandishes them in triumph, greeted by cheers and laughter. The pizza looks even more bizarre with candles sticking out of it, tiny flames flickering in the dimly-lit apartment, but Yunho claps and exclaims loudly that _this is the best birthday ever!_ as wax drips onto slices of cold pepperoni and cheese.

Yunho doesn’t get any call from home.

Changmin gets him drunk quick enough so it doesn’t matter.

 

*

 

 _"What did you wish for?" Changmin asks._  
  
_Yunho smiles and leans his head over Changmin's shoulder, Siwon already inside, leaving the two of them alone. Changmin presses his thigh against Yunho's and they're squeezed together in a comfortable huddle on the balcony, half-smothered by Changmin's arms and blankets. Counting streetlights and stars. There’s tomato sauce at the corner of Yunho’s mouth and Changmin rubs a thumb over it, lingering at the softness he finds there. Yunho looks out at the city and the smile he wears when he turns to Changmin is slow and sweet._  
  
_"I wished for forever."_

*

 

**end**

 


End file.
